Lost mojo.
I've lost my mojo. I knew I had it a while ago but I've looked everywhere and cannot seem to find it. I go in my studio, nothing- Usually when  I.m feeling feeling negative I do something positive to re-dress the balance- This usually works, It started off when my back started to ache -all day- it made me feel miserable- after two days it let up a bit-then two days later my left forefinger was giving me a lot of pain - After googling I came up with arthritis-who has finger ache ? Its just ridiculous. I didn't want to knit, my fingers hurt. I didn't want to draw or paint, my back hurt-  I needed to write something for my writers group-Nothing came, I told myself, just sit down and write something for gods sake.
I made the effort. I remembered when I visited Tintern Abbey and a man suddenly appeared and disappeared. He told us (I had a witness) that he was trying out his new camera- which was a shiny new box brownie- Not at all strange until you consider they stopped making them in 1935, and the fact he disappeared as suddenly appeared with no where for him to go except past us.
I wrote the story, it was unexciting and lame- Why do I bother- I switched the radio on and someone was reading out their piece of work. It was only about camping and the willows moving but it was beautifully written. Descriptive, and entrancing. Why can't I do something like that.? So resort to the old time waster- watching TV. Even that annoys me. I can;t enjoy it. It is irritating. I enjoyed Coronation street, because the nasty Phelan got killed by Eileen. Down into the icy sea he went.
To change things up I decided to do some dressmaking for a change and get creative that way- I searched for the new pattern for about an hour and eventually found it .I normally love a new pattern and unfolded folded it to look at it with high expectation. My Siamese thought I had invented a new game and it tore in a couple of places.Putting it away I went in search of the material I had in mind. Not in my dressmaking box, not in any drawers in the dressing table or wardrobe. After about 2 hours of searching I found it, brought it down folded it up and put it away- Have I started it? No I've lost my motivation. I know, I'll go up to the garden to do a few jobs- Its raining and cold so I don't go. Besides I'm not in the mood for conversations. My finger is still numb and annoying me.but at least its in my left hand right? There is always something to be grateful for. I went on line and bought some probiotics in an effort to clean up up my overall health and Lidls were selling some 'Boost' tea, containing vitamin B6, so I'm taking that in the morning. Hopefully my mojo will return - watch this space.