Monday 15 November 2021

 My journey  thru radiation therapy    

Well 5am sees us up and going to Inverness for my first radiation treatment at 9.3o am. Dave dropped me of, I  dutifully walked myself to the Nuclear dept. to  be radiated, 

  Nobody tells you what to  expect as no  body explains the actual process or how you might feel about it. There are videos, sure, showing what it looks like looking on to a person having it, but it is a completely different story when you it is happening to you. 

Get on here and lie down the helpful nurses say. you dutifully oblige. Arms up in stirrups, which are arranged in a bespoke fashion, tailored only for you. 

Happily the diazepam has kicked in, but it still did not prepare you for what was about to happen, or how it would make you feel.

"We are just popping out, wont be long Elaine " they say cheerily, as they leave the room.

Ok. Then all of a sudden a loud whirring and buzzing starts. to your left a huge rectangle plastic box, approx. 3 foot by 3 foot descends towards you. It keeps going, 'cripes' you think , is this thing going to crush me? Surely it is too close???' inches from you it stops, them immediately from the other size another loud whirring and buzzing sound and a huge round machine comes over you, looking somewhat like a massive robot eye. then the machine start moving you with the noise constantly whirring buzzing and zinging, ringing in your ears. 

An electric beam, which doesn't hurt but which surprises you starts to move over your body , like something out of an episode of Doctor Who, complete with electronic music.

'I don't remember auditioning for a part of an extra in this series  'I think to myself. After what seems an age, but in actual fact is only 2 or 3 minutes it is all over, the machines retract, the lights come on and the radiologists re entry the room. 

"Right , that's it for today, you did well" they say brightly. "See you tomorrow, same time" ' I can't wait' I think to my self. and toddle off completely in shatters and in tears. Sobs come that cannot be helped. 'I'm so sorry I say' sobbing into my hands. "it's ok it's ok" they say , which they must have to 30 times a day every day-- they are used to it ,they tell me.

Because I was hungry, I go to find the canteen for a bit of (take away only) breakfast.The nuclear dept is in zone 2 and the canteen zone 9 , so a bit of a walk. I decide on a strip of (leathery) bacon , slice of black pudding and a spoonful of beans. It is put in a polystyrene container (naughty hospital) and I try to make my way back to my room, being completely lost. They obvs. operate a one way system and the hospital is vast, so once you find your way to somewhere, they spew you out somewhere you have no idea what direction you are facing.With no sign posting either !

I decide to walk until I find a suitable land mark. There is an icy wind whipping in off shore and 20 minutes later I am back in my room and my meagre breakfast is nearly cold. I eat it any way- I couldn't feel more miserable. 

I flick on the TV to watch terrestrial TV that I have been missing these past 6 months at home. It too was rubbish . 5 channels with only inane drivel on. Oh well that's me. Lunch time and I draw the curtains and try to sleep for an hour or so.

At least there is a kettle and a sink to make tea, but it is not long before I run out of tea bags , so lucky I remembered to bring lots with me. But I have to walk over to the main building shop, a 15 minute walk away  to buy some more. 15 minutes walk back and I am ready for a snooze again. 

I bought some sandwiches from the shop for tea, watched a bit of silly TV and went to bed at 9 am .

4 more days of more or less the same , without the crying, and it was Friday ready for home. 

My lovely husband was not waiting for me as he promised. Great. He did eventually turn up, 10 minutes late, but parking is difficult, so his usual punctuality and also  the early morning traffic through the city of Inverness had him falling behind. 

I dropped off a tin of sweets and a thankyou card at Radiology but couldn't help thinking that was not nearly enough for all the gratitude I felt for their care.

Nay bother, I was paracetamoled and tramadol led up to the hilt, so was floating on a cloud a bit and gratefully climbed into the back of the car to fall asleep on the back seat.

 Mid way through the two and a half hour journey I wake briefly and groggily inform my husband " The cancer is all gone now I can feel it babes " and fall back to a half slumber.

Arriving home was the best, my beautiful garden looked neglected, but I was happy to see it as were my cats me. My one moggie flew into my arms and cwtched the life out of me, but the other, a very neurotic Siamese took the hump and turned his back on me but still couldn't resist sitting on my lap, albeit with his back to me. 

And soon I was happily ensconced on my fave settee with the two cats sleeping away, like a big furry warm blankee. Ah Bliss.

The next couple of days were a bit of a blur, think I was in mild shock then it started. 

What are the side effects of radiation therapy for some? well here is a list

  1. a rash and inflammation from the plaster 
  2. Sepsis 
  3. throbbing Pain
  4. stabbing pain
  5. fever
  6. necrosis (When your nipple turns blue and falls off)
  7. Sweating
  8. Sleep apnoea
  9. loss of appetite vomiting
  10. extreme fatigue

What , if any did I get ? Lucky me all of them apart from  Nos. 2 and 6 , for which I will be ever grateful.

But to top it off , after a few days of toothache my gum swelled and I recognised that there was a tooth abscess on it's way. Oh joy of joys. As if I had not experienced enough pain in the last 10 days. Luckily the dentist in Glencoe, fitted me in last minute and I drove 20 minutes with my face on fire ther. 

He was concerned and said I need to get anti biotics straight away. But as it had become dark I did not want to drive the 7 miles into Fort William and back as I can only see straight out of my one good eye. i did not want to be responsible for a road accident.

Luckily we in Kinlochleven, due to  our remoteness from and pharmacy, get our meds delivered to our local doctors clinic , where I just managed to slip in the prescription I was given and received them the next day.

Well folks, like childbirth I am already forgetting the past painful exercise and am starting to gain my appetite back and feel on the mend.

Which is just as well as s my lovely husband is making roast pork belly in bar b que sauce, honeyed carrots with black pudding and fondant potatoes for our dinner. Joy of joys, he is feeding me up, the cats are happy and I am able to get out and potter in the garden. Life is good and hopefully , will continue to get better. Amen.

                                                                                      





====m,

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