SURVIVING CANCER

Luckily, I can say I am a cancer survivor to date. Thanks to the attentive NHS looking after my health.

After an operation in my left boob to drag it out of me. The  tediously never ending fatigue that was a feature of my life, has gone. The mildly annoying ache in my left boob, has gone. It has been replaced by , soreness, pain, a rash and a haematoma, which, I have been reassured will dissipate of it's own accord.

Looking it up on Tinternet, warm compresses and paracetamol rather than Ibuprofen, helps. Who knew? Thank the lord for Google. Hopefully it is a 'good' pain, in that my body is shouting at me that it is healing and to take it easy. 

I had a conversation with the radiation consultant which un nerved me a bit. They have to tell you all the ins and outs of a ducks bum, even if you do not want to hear it so that they can prove that you have made an informed decision.

My attitude is; You have had all the medical training, been certified so just crack on matey. I even explained to her that I was confident they are doing, what they should to cure me and I have confidence in their hands, but she carried on explaining anyway. I think they have to. It must be tedious for them repeating the same things over and over.

Like I said to the Opticians in Oban ' I'll bet you are sick of hearing the alphabet' to which he joked, 'Oh only the first 3 years of it I am OK now!' ha ha ha.

Anywho, after a lot of instructions about this that and the other, I woke up this morning with a nagging feeling of doubt in my mind.

Because it is the left boob, and the heart is contained on the left side of the body, there is a certain way you have to pull the boob, as this moves the heart to one side to avoid the radiation hitting the heart. When  I accused her of making this up. She guffawed and replied with ' Yeah, who knew huh?' 

 Now I know I am not the first person this has happened to, but that thought scares the bejesus out of me. What if I can't do it properly, what if I cannot hold my breath for long enough, What if they radiate my heart because of my fault? I have no faith in myself. The thought is scary.

I will have to talk this over with the cancer care nurse. She is a godsend. And much needed.

Radiation person instructed me to drink lots of water and to take exercise every day, to try to shift the 'gunk' 'Gunk Is that a medical term?  I enquired. She said, 'Gunk is a perfectly good word'. I must admit I did know what she meant. Layman's terms I expect, for want of a better word, gunk will have to do.

I drink superfluous amounts of tea per day anyway. I always have x 2 mugs every morning before I do anything else, then elevenses, lunch sees me with another mug, then 3 or 4 in the after noon. This has been a lifelong pattern for me. I do not suppose I will ever change now. At least I do not have sugar in it any more. It does not seem a lot to me either but a lot of people baulk in surprise when I confide how much tea I drink. Can live without my cuppa.

She also expressed how important it was to 'get out into the environment, to take your mind off things' I wonder if everyone has the same pep talk? Or is it just me. 'I don't know what it is like near you, but here it is a lovely sunny day' I replied that indeed, there was a lovely ray of sunshine to which she retorted 'Well get out in it then, Oh and take a supply of vitamin to counter osteoarthritis and we will give you a bone marrow test for good measure to see where we are'.

I forgot to tell her I spend much of my day in the garden, if only weeding. I spose most retirees, like me start to get up later and later and reside indoors for much of the time? But I am not like most retirees, or most people, I find. But I suppose the advice is a set standard and she would be remiss in her duties as a carer if she did not impart all this information.

What I have to do also, is tale an Oestrogen tablet daily.to stave off  any cancer returning. Every time I pick up the packet , my mind goes to the 'cancer returning' bit. What a horrible thought, to have to go through all this as well.

I think the worst part was the two weeks waiting for the operation. All the myriad morbid thoughts constantly play in your brain like some awful B movie. 'Walk of the zombies,' or 'Horror in zombie land. ' Normally those movies make me laugh out loud, but in my head you have to get to grips, something awful was eating you up from the inside, and was slowly killing you. That is an horrific thought in itself. 

In fact there is no getting away from the fact cancer is a horrific thing. A fact of life. Luckily, through research and dedication, scientists and medical practitioners save thousands of people's lives each year, world wide.

This also leaves me wondering what would, how would I have survived in another country with no NHS. I know for a fact, in the USA it costs literally thousands of dollars to just simply have a baby, never mind coping with complications. Money money money. It cost money to survive in any other country. The NHS is a wonderful institution. It doesn't matter if you don't have much in this country you will get excellent health care. In America, you will not be admitted into hospital before a thorough check of you insurance/ financial status. I know this because it happened to me when I was carted off there after a particularly horrible bout of gastric flu in New York. 

Luckily my insurance covered the treatment, just a quick look over and anti sickness pills BUT, unlike here, when you first arrive at the hospital, you are asked to wait while staff check on you financial status. If you do not have sufficient, you do not get a whiff of a ward or any medical staff. Not nice and not what you want if you have been unfortunate enough to land up there.

There are 'poor' hospitals where poor people are seen to,  and by poor I mean those without insurance or any funds. I do not know how they work , but I do know the staff there do not receive good remuneration, so my guess is as good as yours. We can but surmise on that one.

Well I must be off for my daily constructional, which for me is a really pleasant endeavour. I shall breath in the beautiful fresh air and let my gaze rest on all the surrounding mountains, of which there are many. I may even invest in some binoculars.......