Breast Cancer Surgery- my journey

Yesterday, I ate so much I felt disgusted with my self. We had to get up early to drive to Inverness at the Raigmore Hospital for  a pre appointment, appointment for the next day. We had booked in at |the local Premier Inn as I had to be at attending at 7.30 am and the drive was over 2 hours long each way. I comfort eat and I was worrying about the operation, which was for a lumpectomy for breast cancer.

I started out with 'Brartkatofal (small pieces of potatoes and bacon) . Then we started our trek across to Inverness after approx. 2 hours we were nearly there and decided we needed refreshment and a convenience stop.

We found a tourist spot just before Loch Ness. We took a seat at the Nessi cafe and took outside under black parasols.

 It wasn't sunny but warm enough. It was brunch time so we ordered x2 breakfast baps, One sausage and egg (Dave) and one Bacon sausage and Haggis one ( mine) well we were in Scotland and there are many varieties of Haggis, always worth a taste, with a pot of tea for two.  When we received then , to our horror/delight the fillings were doubles. Double eggs, double sausage, double bacon. Well it was brunch and so tasty delicious, I forced myself to devour then. Oh the calories.!!!

 Upon arriving at the hotel, Dave checked us in and I booked us a table  at the on site restaurant/cafe. Not my choice, but Dave was super tired, what with being anxious and driving all that way.

On de-camping in our room I flicked the TV on sat on the bed and unloaded my snacks. 

Some Garibaldi biscuits, a Twix , crunchie and a small bag of Twiglets were gone in a trice- It was just like the good ole days, oh and a cup of tea.

At 7 we made our way to the eaterie where I had to stuff my ears with napkin as I had a 2 day old headache that was getting worse by the hour (why? was it a tension headache) I was experiencing shed loads of tension, that was sure. The tinkle tankle musak was grating ! Far from adding to the ambience it detracted, well annoying. The bar staff looked agog as they wtached me stuff napkin in my ear !

At the order counter, we were told, there was no chicken dishes at all, no salad, and they ran out of lasagne.

There was a problem with supply due to Covid and truck drivers being pinged having to taking days off. It dominoed down the food chain to restrict supplies, in restaurants, shops and cafes. Even drinks were rationed, which did not bother me as I was strictly on water for two days. Surprisingly easy to do, I am sure my liver thanked me for that ! Little did I realise, that general anaesthetics makes one constipated ! Lol !

Because of the restricted menu, I ordered 2 sides of loaded fries and a macaroni cheese. Absolutely bloomin' LUSH. Phew, after all that I was sleepy and ready for my bed.

The cancer showed up only on the mammograms I had recently as I had absolutely no symptoms at all.

So off to Inverness we toddled, grateful and fearful in equal measures.

Arriving at Out patients we booked in for a pre op assessment as is the norm. 

After waiting for a short time I had blue dye injected in my boob, right next to my (very sensitive) left nipple.

Then the nurse massaged my boob to make sure the dye went through. Thanks luv !

"Right you're done" said the nurse "Go back to the waiting room, and wait 20 mins and we will come and get you"

 So off I trudge back to out patients in my gown with my top over like some ragamuffin. After 20 mins, 25 mins, 30 mins, no one came to get me. The great unwashed, came and went and I was feeling sleepy, due to two nights lack of sleep, anxiety, and the place being so warm.

'why haven't they come and got me I thought -weird'

So after 40 mins I trudge wearily back to the x ray dept. to be met with "Where have you beeeeeen?!" After apologising profusely I had 20 mins worth of x rays. It was while lying down and I nearly fell asleep.

After the all clear I was allowed to leave.

Hotel, restaurant early to bed ready (or rather not) for the next round.

Prior to the surgery day I had, x 2 mammograms, A core biopsy with local anaesthetic and mammogram at the Raigmore, and E.C.G test, bloods taken, at the Belvedor in Fort William and a Covid test. Belt and braces. Tedious, but necessary and funnily reassuring too.

Upon arriving at the Raigmore I had to find '5C' which some kind soul directed me to the 5th floor surgery floor. After a quick hug with Dave, me off to surgery and him off for a full Scottish breakfast . Lucky him.

"Right lets check you in" the nurse said efficiently, but kindly, showing me to a bed with a big red sign saying 'Nil by mouth' wha -wha oops.

Getting dressed into x 2 hospital gowns front and back for modesty I was surprisingly un perturbed. Mainly because the ward was extremely clean and the officious nurses swift and experienced. Buzzing around like bees in a hive, ticking boxes on paper work, x2 blood sugar tests, an injection in the tummy to stop blood clotting, apparently.

I pick up my Buddhist book studying the chapter on patience, I was engrossed, but constantly interrupted by the surgeon, the anaesthetist, the surgical nurse, the ward nurse. Funny compressor socks were supplied, sexy if you were into school girls!

Next trip was following an aide, with another lady, who was a nurse in a care home, poor thing was very apprehensive, 5 floors down via the lift and along endless corridors to be shown into a waiting room .

"I am a specialist practitioner and I will be inserting a wire via local anaesthetics, a mammogram and an x-ray, then you are good for surgery said the diminutive person, clip board in hand.

After 20 mins of squashed boob, wire inserting and x-raying it was back up to the 5th floor.  I made the assistant chuckle after much manipulating of said boob, I asked her of she kneaded a lot of bread, as she would be good at it. "No"," she quipped "but I might try it now ".

I was surprised at the number of male nurses and assistants working in the breast surgery ward, although other surgeries were also taking place that day.

Leaving the area and returning to my bed, I felt glad that this stage was over and we were on our way of getting out of there.

I forgot to mention, before leaving the hotel room, I showed Dave how I looked in the mirror, addressing my left boob saying "Goodbye cancer, I no longer want you in my body " Dave said that was the best attitude to take, but I really felt that way. Jeez, those hypnotherapy tapes must have kicked in.

Then after a short while it was time to walk across to surgery, "Follow me " instructed the nurse, file in arm. Off I went to another waiting room and another set of patients waiting, nervous, anxious, waiting.

One by one we were picked up and asked to lay on a trolley Nurse and anaesthetist on the other the consultant came in, checks were made, 

Then a young guy in scrubs was introduced to me. "Here is an intern may he put in the canula in you hand?" My heart sank, but I nodded timidly and flashed a watery smile "Oh God I hope he does not fluff this- which he did not thank Mary Jesus and all the saints !!! were my private thoughts. He managed with a lot of instructions and guidance, I spose they have to learn somewhere.

I was wheeled in, a mask going over my face and I drifted off................. what seemed like 2 seconds later I was waking up in the recovery sweet," Are you OK Elaine , how are you feeling?" Came the caring voices, angels the lot of them.

 What gets me is when they are not being caring they all seem to have a gallows humour-- Very funny. There are 3 types of patient according to the booklets they provide you with. One will ask a lot of questions (I had none after extensive googling) the next will ask only one or two and  a third will not want to know anything at all. 

I fall into the latter category having read far far too much on the subject, the contra indications and things that may go wrong seem to stand out . There are so many of them , but I will say if you receive the brochures pertaining to your particular type of cancer (there are many types) read them all through. They are positive, informative and say it like it is but always with a reassuring theme.

I determined I would let all staff know I fell into the latter category and when chatting with my cheerful surgeon said "I do not want to know anythingd upon replying to the obligatory 'do you have any questions?' question. he replied with a twinkle in his eye "Oh that's like me, I always do the surgery with my eyes shut anyway" I laughed and this remark gave much merriment to any staff I related it to as well.

The oxygen had me gasping for water and I drank a whole bottle of the stuff, while recovering, much to the amusement of the very attendant recovery nurse. She chatted away, waiting to come round fully , telling me she was frightened of dogs , but had a Shitzu " for the kids"  adding "I am frightened of him but I still worry bout him " and we agreed pets where like a part of the family.

Afet what seemed a very long time, my blood pressure which is high , goes up and down like a yo yo, (they are very careful ) I was wheeled back onto the ward, and one by one all the ladies arrived, in varying states of recumbence. Did I want more water ? OOH yes, a jug was dutifully brought and downed. Along with a big mug of tea Bliss. Next would I like a sandwich " Ham, Tuna egg or cheese ?" I opted for Tuna. When it came it was on white bread. I never eat the stuff if I can help it, my bread of choice is brown, wholemeal, seeded etc. White bread is the less expensive option of course and probably easier to digest. 

I rolled my eyes to the lady  in the bed 'White bread !' tut ,across from me , but, when I opened the packet, the fresh waft of the tuna, saw me wolfing the whole thing down in a trice, along with another mug of tea. I was ravenous Lol! 

After that we started chatting, as she was into cooking , like me. Her husband had just retired and he was also starting to cook ' mainly curries', which she was not a fan of. I suggested she buy him a cookery course for Xmas, in cakes or fish (which she loves) which she thought a good idea, and I was glad I able to help, albeit in a small way. I carried on chatting to her after she confided to me she was diagnosed with a cancer that was carried in her genes, one I had never heard of, which flare up sporadically and there is no cure. She was first diagnosed at the age of 30, when her daughter was in a push chair 30 years ago and she had been in and out of hospital ever since. sometimes she can go for a year with out a flare up sometimes she in in and out month after month. Poor lady. It is hard to imagine the grit she must have to muster to carry on. She chuckled the surgeon s parting words are "See you next time", but they have kept her alive for 30 years, so good on them.

She said the general aesthetic always made her nauseas, every single time. So I suggested ginger, biscuits, a piece of ginger, as many years ago whilst pregnant I was informed this reduces nausea, and it works. So we chatted about nutrition, etc. recopies, fish, her husband and daughters, it helped to while away the time.

 It was only after 3 hours they let me go, I assume they were waiting for my blood pressure to normalise, and gradually it did. I kept telling them I was fine , in an effort to get them to let me go, but of course they were watching my vital signs and knew better.

Eventually after I was given more paracetamol and a tramadol, ( the incision sight was aching) I was released to a grateful husband .

As I walked, rather unsteadily towards him my 'Eh oop me duck' greeting was met with "Am I glad to see you!" The poor soul had been waiting in the waiting area for 4 hours !!!

I was never so glad to see him too. I am truly blessed to have such a kind soul as him looking after me, and this whole experience has me counting my blessings.

Alright, life is not perfect, it never is for any one, but you just keep on keeping on and it is important to look at what you feel grateful for everyday.

I am grateful for the care , attention, and yes love, I was shown throughout my brief stay in hospital, the staff were kind, caring and what's more efficient, as are all the hospital and medics leading up to this final day. We are so lucky in this country to have an NHS. Buildings full of angels truly.

My reason for writing this down is, if anyone who is having to suffer the hoorors that can be the Big 'C' I need you to realise the medical staff are here for you. They pull out all the stops to cure you, to do the best for you. 

The worst part, I found was not knowing what was going to happen, and feeling enormous fear and trepidation at what lies ahead. What lies ahead is that you will get all the care in the world and you will be looked after to the 'Nth' degree, Trust me I've been there. 

I don't know if it was the Tramadol or just sheer relief, but I told my husband on the journey home, "My cancer has gone now , it really has" I have a new lease of life, which I intend to cherish, as you will do if the NHS staff have anything to do with it. 

Go to all the mammograms get checked early , it will save your life.😃